Nobody I know likes queues, why would they? Standing (or sitting if you are provided with that luxury - however, sitting normally infers you will be queuing longer than initially expected), daydreaming, wasting your life away in a fucking queue, you have no idea when it will shrink to the required size whereby you hear those coveted words mundanely voiced in your general direction, "Next!".
I detest queues, I'd rather watch an episode of Eastenders which I also detest and if even necessary venture to the dark depths of an episode of Jeremy Kyle...ughhh. That's how much I hate queues.
Most queues in a normal functioning society are of the shopping nature, most probable during the festive seasons such as xmas. I find shopping early in the morning as the store doors are opening for the public assault serves best during this period, unless you want to queue then go any time after this.
Xmas queues are sacrificial types of queues, what I mean by this is that the majority of people are sacrificing their time queuing to purchase items that aren't even for there own amusement or use. Watching forty year olds waiting in line for the latest PS3, Xbox Super, etc is determinant of this sacrifical queuing. They wouldn't queue to purchase goods for themselves in similar manner, which is maybe why they end up with bulging sock drawers while their kids maintain the latest gadgetry and style available.
There are selfish queues, everyone out for themselves, hustling and bustling for the last item on sale, wrestling their way through clothes departments like elephants on stampede.
Queues of anticipation, holding your ticket in one hand, the other on the back of the stranger in front as you reach the turnstile admitting you to watch the big game, the massive concert.....
Other queues are of the alcoholic nature, where you are too fucking drunk to realise how long you'll be queuing and what you're actually queuing for, you just saw a line and thought you'd join cause why the fuck would you go home instead? - normally takes place late at night so fortunately these types of queues rarely interact.
After being made redundant I was of course forced to sign on the dreaded dole, which I am not in the least embarassed about. I have spent all my working life paying taxes, and above average amounts I might add, without so much as asking for a cent in return. Now after years of giving to the not so fortunate through the redistribution vehicle called democracy, it was time to say "its payback time, I am now not so fortunate" and apply for said payments.
Watching the RTE news didn't lean my thinking to the "this will be a pleasant experience" type of thought, because every evening at six o'clock they constantly beamed pictures of depressing big ugly queues into my living room, yes, dole queues. "I'm not doing that! .......Shit, maybe I'll have to queue". There would be no maybe about it, it was gonna happen.
My queuing consternation led me to attempt to expediate the process of signing on. I downloaded the necessary forms from the social services website, filled them out, photcopied the required documents from my ex-employer, etc, etc, and then set about making the appointment to meet with a civil servant of sorts to make my claim.
Now, years previously I had worked for 6 months or more in the civil service in the north of the Emerald Isle, so I had some sort of idea as to how the system functioned, and this being 12 years on it surely has improved and modernised. I only hoped that the current civil servants were at least 3 times more productive than I was when in a similar role.
First things first, I'll make that phone call to book the appointment.
Voice:"If you come over and bring the forms with you tomorrow"
ME: "Cant I make an appointment now?"
Voice: "Just bring the forms with you tomorrow".
Me: "Where do I go?"
Voice:"North Cumberland Street, cant miss us"
Me: "Ok, Thanks, bye".
The second part was to visit their offices on North Cumberland Street, which I wasn't familiar with. That didn't matter cause I had my recently purchased Garmin GPS for the bike which I trusted would guide me there safe and sound, which it duly did. Like the xmas shopping episodes I reckoned getting there early was best policy. Half hour before opening should suffice to be one of the first in line.
My Garmin double beeped me to turn left off Parnell St and on to North Cumberland and stated "arriving at destination". Nice one I thought, turned the corner and stared in astonishment. The longest queue I had ever seen oudoors that wasnt involved with a sporting occasion or concert. This was a different kind of queue, not even the selfish kind, it was fucking desolate.......one of those queues where people queue even though they dont want to, but the participants are past the point of caring cause if they weren't here queuing what else would they be doing?
Adapting a positive mental attitude helps in a lot of situations, it was a big bulding, the big queue outside will fragment into lots of little queues once inside. It did, but into one very long queue (mine of course) and lots of little queues. Almost 3 hours later I heard the coveted words, albeit in a tone associated with patients who have been just informed they have cancer:
Guy: "Next...."
Me: "Hi, I'd like to sign on due to compulsory redundancy".
Guy: "National insurance number?"
I hand him the forms I have completed in advance containing my details, he checks my details on the computer beside him.
Guy:"You came here from north in 2001", looks at me all squinty eyed like Clint Eastwood would in a few dollars more, against Lee Van Cleef I think his nemesis was.
Me:"Yeah", my tone suggesting so fucking what.
He gives me back my forms and writes on this sheet in front of him, its a hand written appointment sheet, they dont even record them on the computer, they can't do it on the phone, you have to queue for 3 hours for the privilege of getting an appointment at reception to make another fucking appointment to talk to the very same receptionist, the second time across the room so he can then schedule your appointments to sign on! What a piss take.
Guy:"Fill in these and come back on this date at this time and queue over there"... points to other side of room and hands me blank forms, the very same forms that I have filled in, in advance thinking it would help.
Me:"I have this form already filled in, I just gave it to you, do I need another one?"
Guy: "I have to give them to you."
Me: "Do I need 2 of these?"
Guy:"No"
Me: "So what do I do with this, throw it in the bin?"
Guy:"Thats your choice."
Wtf?.....I thought as I turned away....... Wanna stop people queuing at the dole offices?... then simply put someone on a computer with a timetable on it, and a phone beside them - people phone up they schedule an appointment on the timetable, its not rocket science, queue is halved straight away. Those very same people queuing can use their 3 hours to look for work instead of queuing.
Civil servants complain about this and that, pension increases, irate customers, long queues, etc. Now on occasions, from previous experiences, they do make valid points, however, the underlying cause for these complaints aimed at others actually stems from the regulations imposed upon the system by their superiors and the government. Coupled with the fact that most people working in the social service dont give a fuck I can unashamedly say that the system is fucking shameful. Take any civil service office, command structure, work ethic, efficiency, etc and compare it to a similar functioning company in the private sector and it fails miserably. Why? Because the people dont give a fuck, their bosses dont really give a fuck, and the government dont really give a fuck about the normal working class citizens.....soon to be non-working class citzens. Also they are not the sharpest tools in the box in my opinion cause if they knew what they were doing they would be working in the private sector for higher wages. That brings me to the P's - Politics.
I have never voted in my life, anywhere for anything. I have never believed in something strong enough to go out of my way and queue to have my say, as minor as my say may be. "One more wont make much of a difference", was always my retort to a compulsive voter questioning my voting morals. So who installs these morons in power, yes, more P's - the People, we do (well I don't cause I have never voted, I just havent decided to put some other moron in there instead).
So, I have reconciled to the simple fact that the next election will be my first time ever to vote, and merely for the sole reason of opposing the current government cause they are not good. We shouldnt stand for it especially when they take 2 full months off every year on holidays....is there any other country in the world that would tolerate this? Ach, sure their Irish, they just enjoy the craic! The craic is long gone, earn your keep I say.
If you turn around in the street you need a licence - walking the dog? need a dog licence, going fishing? need a fishing licence, staying at home watching tele? need a tv licence........so if you are on the dole you cant do anything cause you need a licence to do it and they all cost money you dont have cause you are not working........I recently took up cycling again, as of yet we do not need a cycling licence but wait for it, its probably in the pipeline if the current eejits in power need more funding for their bullshit committees that cost us all a fortune and line their pockets..
Rant over....think I might vote labour, although I know absolutely feck all about politics and parties. At least I have time to blog now that I'm not working, dont know if thats good or bad.
